This month is Autism Awareness month, and today, 4/2/16 is World Autism Day.
I never thought I would be writing about this or try to spread awareness of this day.
There are so many things I could say about this subject, and yet kinda hard to put into
words. But, one thing I do want to share is what actually goes on behind the scenes Autism.
Autism has a funny way of changing your life plans. When you have a kid, you dream
of teaching them the things you loved doing when you were little.
You teach them the basic things, to speak, ABC's, 1,2,3 and shapes.
Then when they get older, you can't wait for the day to teach them how to play catch,
play one on one basketball, and also how to ride a bike.
When Autism is brought to the table, it puts your life on hold, and the thought
you may have to say goodbye to seeing your child achieve these dreams you have for them.
Let me just say Autism is not a death sentence or hasn't ruined our lives forever. Also,
I am not saying every kid that has Autism won't be able to achieve these things, but
there is a chance that it will be very difficult for them, or something they won't be able
to understand.
When someone experiences death in life, you will go through a cycle called " The five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance."
My sister died, I was 10 years old. At 10, I experienced all of these stages.
I couldn't believe this was happening to my family and I. I was mad and so angry.
I made pleas and bargains with my Heavenly Father. I even remember begging to him
that I would promise to be nice to my younger sister if he would bring her back.
Then set in the depression.
This loss was real, and I couldn't bear it. I couldn't believe something like this could happen to my
family and I.
Then, the last stage, acceptance.
Do we ever really make it to this stage?
Yes, I know that she passed away. I finally accepted the fact she was gone.
She physically will not be at family functions, laughing on the couch with her sisters, or physically be here to see her sisters get married and have babies. But one thing I know for sure, she is here with us all the time. It may not be physically, but she is always with us.
But I don't think we can ever comprehend why they had to leave this life at such a young age.
I don't think I will ever accept that yet till I see my Heavenly Father again.
When you have child with special needs, you go through the five stages of grief, again.
Denial, Denial, Denial.
I think we went through that few times, (hence I typed it three times.)
No parent wants to believe that something could be wrong with their child.
You have a plan. You have dreams, and plans for the future for your child.
Yes, for a while, I kept saying, "No, he is fine! Nothing is wrong with him!"
Which, I was right. Nothing is wrong with him, but he would have a long journey in store for him.
Dezmin was diagnosed with Autism last October. Sagean and I knew he had it, but actually hearing
the words from the Doctor...left us speechless. We left the office, and started crying in the parking lot.
What was going to be in store for us now?
I believe that Kassi and our Heavenly Father sent this beautiful blessing to us because they
knew we could do it.
Even though there are days I feel like I am not being the best parent I could be,
they are trusting me and having faith in us to raise this beautiful boy.
When the official diagnosis was given, immediately came the words of comfort,love and support. With that, also came the hurtful, crazy remarks.
I have the most amazing family and friends who have showed us love and support from the very beginning! They mean so much to us and personally want to thank them for everything they have
done for us! We love you all!
I wish people would think before they speak. Honestly, it would make the world
a better place. Simple, right? As soon as Dezmin was given the diagnosis, in came the crazy, rude remarks from people.
"Oh, he has Autism? Prepared to get divorced!"
"Don't you think a physical disability would be easier than a mental disability?"
"Are you sure he has Autism? He looks normal to me."
"Oh, he's fine! He is just going through a phase, he will outgrow it."
Or my "Favorite one," and honestly, if I hear it uttered one more time,
I will strangle them.
"Have you thought that vaccines caused his Autism?"
Ugh! Really? Just don't say anything more about that because you will not like what will
come out of my mouth.
First of all, I don't need some random person talking to me about my Marriage.
We are a forever family and it will always stay that way, no matter what comes
our way.
Honestly, Autism isn't a death sentence. I know this journey will be difficult, but I have
.been through worst things than this.
Yes, I know that parents with kids with special needs, the divorce rate is high. Like really, really high.
Yes, it does scare me. Of course it does!
But I don't need someone telling me how my marriage is going to be.
Pretty sure we didn't invite you into our marriage...thanks for your two cents though buddy! :)
I won't go on about the other things, but when you don't know what to say to someone who is a parent
of a special needs kid, just remember not to say those things, and everything will be ok and no one will get a Junk Punch. :)
Through this journey, I have found new friends who know exactly what I am going through and that is, without a doubt, a beautiful and wonderful gift! We laugh, we cry, we hug, cry some more, and laugh again. I am also thankful for the support groups I am apart of.
If anyone has a family member or know someone who has a special needs kid, please tell
them to throw themselves into a support group.
Yes, I said throw. This is like life support to them, and will definitely help them through this journey we call life.
Ok, enough of the sad talk.
I want to share some stuff that we go through from time to time.
and I promise you, if you can't laugh through the hard times, life is going to be pretty difficult. Find humor and it will get you through the sad times in life. :)
Dezmin has some sensory issues with his mouth. He is always seeking this need and always put's stuff in his mouth.
Electrical cords, books, crayons, dirt, rocks and etc.
So thank goodness they have sensory toys and jewelry for kiddos like Dezmin.
So pictured here is his chewlery. It has helped him so much and keeps him from chewing on things he shouldn't.
Also, kids with sensory issues like this, his speech therapist's and Occupational Therapist recommend
little sensory vibrators.
Vibrators?
Hahaha, I can't help but laugh about this, but it does help.
I laugh when I have to explain to other people why he needs these.
The conversation usually goes like this...
"Sorry! No, this isn't some weird sex toy. It's a sensory vibrator that helps with
my son's sensory needs and helps him calm down."
I love the looks I get when he has his little "Buzzer." I can't help but laugh.
I am blessed that Dezmin choose me to be his mom.
He is a blessing to our little family.
I can't imagine life without him.
He is truly "Au-some!"
We have our good days, when he makes progress and are so proud of his little triumphs!
We get really excited when he try's a new food, tries to talk, and so much more.
Also, there are days when we hear that he is developmentally behind kids his age.
When cousins and kids his age are talking, potty trained, and excelling developmentally.
Those are the days I am thankful for my family, friends, Camp Hippo, his speech therapist, his Occupational Therapy team, and of course, Sushi.
Sushi is always the right choice!
Happy World Autism Day!
I love you all,
Kylee
